The Toxic Avenger Limited edition Big Box release! Aka. Tromas shitty Cashgrab

When I first heard troma would be releasing a Big Box VHS edition of the Toxic Avenger, I was fucking thrilled. The Toxic Avenger is easily my favorite film, and VHS is my favorite format. I already own The Toxic Avenger on VHS, and have owned literally every American release of it. So, when I heard that there would be ANOTHER release of this and it would finally be getting the Big Box treatment, there was no doubt in my mind that I would own this and it would be epic. I mean, come on... look at it... It looks sick as all fuck:

Yeah, it looks pretty fucking incredible. Even if you don't own a VCR anymore.

 Not only do you get that Sweet-ass Green VHS tape housed inside  a "Hard Clamshell". You also get that big ass box with Toxie on it, and get this... "ALL OF THEM ARE SIGNED BY LLOYD KAUFMAN!"

Fuck yeah! Lloyds Autograph on a Toxic Avenger Big Box. Sounds too good to be true...

 This is where the first problem pops up. There is no autograph anywhere to be found on mine. Seems to be that nobody who ordered this has received a signed copy. This is absolute false advertising...and although it is a bummer, it isn't even the tip of the fucking iceberg...

Whoever works in Tromas Shipping department should be fired. They decided to ship these big boxes in Padded envelopes, rather than boxes. Normally this wouldn't be too big of a deal, but the clamshell inside of the big box is significantly smaller then the Big box itself. Check this out so you can get an idea of what I'm talking about:

The Clamshell case should fit snugly inside. This one is loose and moves around quite a bit inside.

You might still be wondering why this is such a big deal. Maybe you think I'm just being a prick. But check this out...The fact that there was so much wiggle room inside of the box coupled with the tight padded envelope they shipped it in resulted in my VHS arriving looking like this:

Front Cover. Mid way across the top. Box was crushed and is creased.

Top Flap. Numerous spiderweb crushes and creases.

Back cover. Bottom left Side. Hard crush caused the clamshell inside to warp.

Bottom back cover and side spine. Not only was the box crushed, the bottom flap was bent back slightly and the glue was beginning to separate. Had to repair this with Glue-stick.

Another shot of the front cover. This one shows the damage a bit more.

Back cover. Hard crease and fraying along the edge of the box.

 This is completely unacceptable. I understand that Sometimes damages occur during shipping, but this could have been prevented had they used boxes rather than envelopes. This is 100 percent Tromas fault. This might not be so surprising or irritating had this been a 20 year old VHS copy purchased off amazon for 5 bucks. But this is a brand new item, purchased direct from the Studio...for 38 dollars a piece. 

Sure fucking feels that way...

It is completely beyond unreasonable to expect a consumer to accept an item in this condition. I would have looked past the Typos on the back cover, the wasted spine space, and the cheap flimsy clamshell they used. I wouldn't have even cared that they used a really shitty master to duplicate these. This is seriously the worst I have ever seen this movie look and sound. But more on that in a minute. I would have looked past all of this once I saw that sweet image of Toxie staring back at me from the front of a Big Box. But instead, I look at it and feel anger. I feel cheated, lied to, and ripped off. It's hard to look past the negatives, when there doesn't seem to be any positives. Maybe "NO positives" is a bit extreme. The color of the VHS is awesome, and the "you must purchase this tape if this label is broken" sticker was a nice touch. But other than that, it's hard to be happy with this release.


Aside from the Cheap, undersized clamshells and damaged Big boxes... There is also the contents of the tape itself. Now, The tape looks awesome. It is a nice green which really does remind you of toxic waste. This is cool, but not cool enough to make up for the shitty transfer. I don't know where they obtained the master tape used to duplicate these VHS, but it looks and sounds like shit. The first thing I noticed was the bass missing from the music during the films spoken introduction. It is simply not there for a few seconds. Right about the time we see the title card drop into place, you will notice the washed out colors that will persist throughout this release. In general, this release looks bad. The most notable moment is during the scenes where we first see melvin interact with the bullies. The water in the spa blends together and appears as a white blotch on screen. Also, during the Head Crushing scene, Colors are too dark and make parts of the scene difficult to view. Most notable in this scene is the shot of the polaroids the girls take after they have killed the kid. The color and blurriness make the photos difficult to interpret.

This Release actually gives you, the viewer a chance to experience what it is like to have your eyes poked by the toxic avenger! Just like in the movie!!

This release is sure to disappoint just about everyone. The only redeeming factor here is the Vintage interview tossed in before the movie starts. However, as cool as that footage was... it only confirms that troma did indeed select a shitty master to duplicate these from, because the interview footage is actually higher quality than the movie itself! It appears in typical VHS quality, with decent sound. Then the film starts and it all goes to shit. This bugs me because it implies a certain lack of concern for quality. Which, coupled with the shitty shipping choice... makes for a product which comes across feeling as nothing more than a shitty Cashgrab for Troma. However, in typical Troma fashion...corners were cut, which resulted in a shitty realization of a great idea.


My advise to Troma: Next time you guys wanna release a VHS, make sure that the Clamshell fits the box snugly. Exercise some caution when selecting a master tape, and for fucks sake send the fucking things out in BOXES!


My advise to you: If you are a Toxie or Troma collector who is thinking about buying this...DONT!! It will only piss you off and make you feel cheated. Instead, why not hit up ebay and pick up a nice "Battle for Tromaville" Board game, or a Original Lightning Video VHS release. IF you are just now discovering The Toxic Avenger and you think this is something you want to pick up....Dont!! Head on over to amazon and pick up a copy of the Troma collectors Edition on VHS. It is the best release of this movie to ever come out on VHS and it wont leave you feeling like you want to toss it right out of a window into a vat of Toxic Chemical Waste.

The burning moon on VHS

From Mondo Video and Intervision Picture Corp. Limited to 340.  the running time is 8 minutes shorter than the Intervision DVD release according to the packaging. Review and comparison coming soon.

BLACK METAL VEINS Official Trailer. Watch now and pray the months fly by...

At long last Lucifer Valentine has released a trailer for his upcoming film "Black Metal Veins". Black metal veins allows us a glimpse into the lives of five heroin addicts. If you are familiar with Lucifer Valentines previous work, you know this is going to be a powerful film. This is also Lucifer Valentines first "true" documentary, in the sense that it is about 5 real life people, with real life drug problems which they were kind enough to allow us a peek into. 

I was able to get a tiny bit of info from Lucifer Valentine about the upcoming DVD release in July from Unearthed films. There will be two versions of the film released simultaneously. A "Domestic Cut", which I am assuming will be the "casual viewers" version of the two... as well as a directors cut, which I assume is aimed at the hardcore:

 "The directors cut has a few infernally beautiful scenes that can't go mainstream".  

                  - Lucifer Valentine


This is the first time a Lucifer Valentine film is being released in multiple cuts, and that is god damned intriguing. Being that i am familiar with his work, I am aware that he doesn't shy away from showing anything on camera, and this is one of the things that makes his films unique. So, with that in mind... What could be in this new film that could possibly require a "safer" version for the casual viewer? I don't know about you, but I can't wait to find out. Black Metal Veins will be available this July From Lucifer Valentine and Unearthed Films.

I miss this guy

26 years ago today, a hero was born.

26 years ago today THE TOXIC AVENGER first opened in theaters. The film was not expected to do well, but it ended up running for almost 2 years straight at the Bleeker St. Cinema in New York. It went on to become one of the biggest selling films of the 1980s, spawn a pop culture icon and mascot for the most successful independent film studio in history, and eventually became a kids television show. Words can't describe the love I have for this movie. It was my favorite when I was a kid, and still is today. Happy birthday Toxie!

Who doesn't want to kick back with a pretty lady on their birthday?

Over the years, your looks have changed. But we still love you!

Let this be a lesson to you, hotass!

Yeah, happy birthday to me. I bet you didn't even know.

What about those Tapes that don't play anymore....

If you collect VHS tapes than you know sometimes shit happens and you are left with a non working tape. Most collectors are aware that you can repair a VHS tape and get it working again, but most do not know how. And that really fucking sucks! It is a shitty feeling to have a really rare VHS tape that you can't watch. Sure the box is nice, but you want to be able to watch the movie inside. So...With that in mind I am going to begin a weekly or bi-weekly (not sure which yet) series of posts dedicated to the repair and maintenance of VHS tapes. This will include simple stuff such as removing the stickers and sticker residue from your Ex-rentals without damaging the artwork, to rather complex things like replacing the moving parts inside, or repairing a popped tape. Even some lesser known stuff like restoring frayed box corners and even removing tape mold.

It did not look this way when I put it in the VCR...

 I have opened up literally hundreds of videotapes over the course of my lifetime and I have yet to encounter a busted ass tape I can not repair. So, keep checking back and sooner or later your bound to see the first post materialize.

Pictures painted in hell- My interview with Lucifer Valentine

Somewhere in the United states there is a man who people know as Lucifer Valentine. He makes movies. Good movies. Tons of people love him, but for every one fan there are two who would like to see his head on a table. Because of this he tends to be a bit of a recluse and doesn't do alot of interviews. Fortunately for you, he has agreed to answer some questions. So, without further adieu...

VideoStar- Thanks for taking time out of your day to answer a few questions.I browsed online and it looked like it had been a while since your last interview, so I figured it was about god damned time!. You and I have chatted online a bit so I have a good idea of things you will not answer, And things that are self explanatory, so I'm not gonna waste your time with silly questions. I know that you are a very busy dude, so this is greatly appreciated.

Lucifer Valentine- Ok cool thanks man, go right ahead !

VideoStar- I've noticed a common theme in the interviews you've done online in the past few years. Interviewers tend to ask you about satanism and if you "really believe in Satan". First of all, the confusion on the subject bewilders me. You make no secret of the fact that you are a practitioner of Satanism, in fact Satan and satanism are both key characters in the Vomit gore trilogy. If you wouldn't mind, explain to us what Satan and Satanism mean to you.

Lucifer Valentine- Well I was raised a Satanist and so I've always been this way. To me, Satanism means that I embrace my true beast-like dark essence as a spiritual being and to be true to that and honor it in my daily life amongst other humans in the surface reality of normal practical living. Satanism for me means that I feel a strong connection to nature, especially animals, and that I trust my instincts and primal feelings in this world. Philosophically, I would say that Satanism represents the opposite of fear and crushing self doubt; and inspires and evokes a calm yet haunting overall dark presence.

VideoStar- I think it would surprise people to know that as reclusive as you are, you are  constantly in contact with fans and seem to love talking with them.It also seems as if you have stepped up your online presence recently more so than in previous years. What are the chances that your fans will ever get a chance to actually meet you and shake the hand of the man who brought us Vomit gore? Will we ever see a "Meet Lucifer Valentine" banner at a horror convention?

Lucifer Valentine- Well I started mostly talking to thousands of disgruntled people on horror discussion forums way back in 2006 when I was promoting SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS and introducing people to Vomit Gore ! That was loads of fun ! Many many so-called horror movie fans despised me because I was presenting something new and unknown to them at the time and I found it fascinating and fun to see their reactions of fear, anger and negativity because that is the exact opposite of how I am as a person and it was very surprising to me. Now its six years later and I prefer to go on Facebook and chat with people mostly on the LV Fanclub group page and thats a blast and obviously nicer as the people there join the group because they actually like my movies and want to discuss the genre of Vomit Gore and anything else I am doing ! As for horror conventions, I have no idea if I'd ever attend something like that we'll have to wait and see. 

VideoStar- It is well known that you are a fan of Nirvana and Kurt Cobain. As a fan, how do you feel about the way his image has been used since his death? There was a Kurt Cobain action figure, a... "very lively" representation of him in a Video game, not to mention all of the pencils, stickers, air fresheners, and beer coasters... Do you feel that it has helped to further his legacy, or do you feel that it has only served to bring to reality what he feared most about success?

Lucifer Valentine- Oh wow,I didn't even know there was all that Kurt Cobain merchandise, I think both notions are true, the sale of these products help further his legacy and also introduce brand new fans to Cobain, while at the same time, yes, I do feel that the commodification of his image was something that Cobain truly dreaded and did in part contribute to his demise. To me Kurt Cobain represents a beautifully talented and fragile genius who was unable to cope with an overwhelming inner conflict of wanting to create his art, but having a crippling inability to cope with the world's consumption of that art and how that made him reflect upon himself and begin to question his own motivations for continuing to make his music. Cobain was one of the most recent rock n' roll icons to die way before his time and his death leaves me with a sense of endless sadness which influenced the character of Angela Aberdeen in my movies as I illustrated elements of Angela and Kurt's quantum entanglement of their simultaneous suicides on April 5th 1994.

VideoStar- Let's talk a bit about the vomit gore genre. The horror world was shocked by your films and the vomit gore concept when they were introduced to the world. do you think it is possible for Vomit gore to span into other Genres such as...comedy, drama, action. Would it ever be possible to have a Vomit Gore Romantic comedy or buddy action flick? Or is Vomit gore strictly for the horror world?

Lucifer Valentine- Haha, well its hard to say exactly, but, I think that Vomit Gore movies will usually involve a central female character (or series of female characters) who is studied by me in what I call a "prolonged portrait" manner, which, at times has a documentary feel to it, and I am usually studying her Hellish downfall and demise. A Vomit Gore movie doesn't necessarily have to be a "horror" movie, but, given my interests and cinematic style, I usually invoke extreme elements of gore because I like to show the destruction of the human form to symbolize transcending the human condition and concrete reality.

VideoStar-What advise, if any would you offer to aspiring film makers considering a career in Vomit gore or extreme horror in general? Are there any "learning experiences" you'd care to share with us...

Lucifer Valentine- Haha, wow ! Well, I would say not to aspire to anything; to not hypothesize and theorize about film making; and to not make it an intellectual endeavor and mental plaything based on the idea of cleverness. I would advise to honestly set forth and do and capture things on film that represent who you are as a person on a deep level and how you truly feel and perceive various important themes in your life and to create a texture and "fabric" of actual heartfelt realism to the quality of your film no matter what the subject matter.

VideoStar-So, we were chatting online when it came out that you were a fan of Daniel Johnston. For those who do not know, Daniel Johnston is a very talented musician who has had a long struggle with schizophrenia. I think it would surprise a lot of readers to find out that you enjoy his music. As a fan myself, I've gotta ask... What's your favorite recording of his and why?  

  

Lucifer Valentine- I love the "Hi, How Are You?" cassette tape that Daniel Johnston would personally had out to people outside of bars in Texas in the early 1980's. When I first heard Johnston's music, I instantly loved it as I could get a real sense of childlike mania and an unhinged scary kind of profusion of unadulterated, raw and honest fragmented ideas that gave me an eerie and unreal feeling.

VideoStar- How did you come to listen to Daniel Johnston? I'm assuming it was due to Kurt cobains fondness for him as well... 

Lucifer Valentine- I liked Johnston at first separately from NIrvana as a friend gave me a tape of "Hi, How Are You?", it was about a year later that I saw Cobain was wearing Daniel Johnston T-Shirts in magazines and on award shows.

VideoStar-One more music related question. How does it make you feel as a film maker when artists such as Sutter kain, Necro, and a few others sample your films in their music?

Lucifer Valentine- I think its cool and flattering when smaller independent musicians sample my movies as long as they give me credit somewhere on the artwork; I mean, it is illegal as they haven't actually licensed my movies from me, but there's so much piracy that goes on these days there's really not much I can do about it, and if I like the music that's a bonus ! I randomly walked into a night club in Seattle once and a fantastic glitch core artist Amphetamine Virus had just started his set with a very long sample of Ameara LaVey talking from SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS and I thought it sounded fucken great !

VideoStar- In one of your previous interviews you stated you enjoy drinking absinthe. We are also treated to the knowledge that you were smoking a joint while recording the commentary for one of your films. Do you find that an altered mind lends itself well to creativity? Tell us a bit about the creative process...

Lucifer Valentine- Hahaha, well actually, it was my former executive producer, Nobody, who was smoking a joint while we were in Amsterdam recording the audio commentary for ReGOREgitated Sacrifice, but, I do really like abscinthe, and during the time that we made RS, myself and many of the performers would drink it ! For me, abscinthe creates a mysterious, hazy kind of effect and gives the room an uncanny sort of vibe which I love to shoot in.

Video Star-There's been some buzz lately about Black Metal Veins, your upcoming film. I've heard that you found yourself in some pretty shady places and dangerous situations while filming. I also understand there were some potential legal hurdles that caused some difficulty in releasing the film. If you can, could you share some "dirt" on the filming of BMV and offer some sort of clue as to when we can add another Lucifer Valentine film to our shelves? 

Lucifer Valentine- Yes ! Black Metal Veins was the most harrowing shooting experience I've had thus far as a film maker largely because I was seeing multiple people's demise and prolonged and grueling self destruction take place simultaneously for many many months on end. Also, in shooting Black Metal Veins, I could see first hand the gruesome and debilitating effects heroin and crack use has on people's bodies, minds, spirits and also how drug addiction destroys families and relationships. So, on many profound levels, Black Metal Veins took me straight into an infinite dark void of despair and loss which actually did bring about the death of one of the main performers in the film, Chris, and as people will see, the other performers in the movie were also at the brink of death in one way or another throughout. I am very very proud of Black Metal Veins and forever grateful to all the performers for allowing me access to their lives and for totally embracing me from day one as a friend and collaborator. Unearthed Films plans to release Black Metal Veins this summer.

VideoStar-You know I'm gonna bug you for a screener :)

Lucifer Valentine- Ok !

VideoStar-Are there any other projects or neat things to look forward to from you in the coming year? You have shared one in particular with me in confidence that has me on the edge of my fucking seat. Care to share some details on what we can expect from you in the near future?

Lucifer Valentine- I am currently shooting a very vicious and brutally over-the-top Vomit Gore film; I had no intention of it being Vomit Gore per se, but as we were filming the movie literally just took on a life of its own and it definitely became Vomit Gore ! I am loving this new movie and all I can say right now is that it is very horrifyingly beautiful ! 

-Here's a random one...How awesome are hot chicks in open toed high heeled shoes?

Very awesome !

Well, I think were done here. I mean, at least for now...

Ok cool, thanks !

Be sure to keep an eye out for  Lucifer Valentine's new film "Black Metal Veins", due out this summer from Unearthed Films. Thanks to Lucifer Valentine and to all of the sickos in the Lucifer Valentine Secret Friends club Facebook group. Also, Be sure to check out www.unearthedfilms.com and browse the catalog including the VOMIT GORE TRILOGY BOX SET, which includes the all three parts of the Vomit Gore trilogy and Lucifer Valentines new film "A perfect Child of Satan". Click HERE For my review on the box set.

A new Lucifer Valentine interview...?

Could it be true? 

Indeed it is.

Check back soon bitches :)

TROMA Forever!

No TROMA TEAM VIDEO release was complete without this Video montage.

Black Devil Doll From Hell... Some deep thoughts, and a slight retrospective on the films of Chester Novell Turner

"You wooden headed bastard..."

There is something truly disturbing about "Black devil doll from hell". At first glance it's easy to toss this movie into the bad movie shitpile and never give it a second thought. I imagine that is probably why most people have never seen, let alone heard of this movie. Most viewers will watch it and will not be able to get past the retail store ventriloquist doll which is supposed to scare us, or the casio keyboard produced soundtrack. If they could, they would see a genuinely disturbing story unfold onscreen. The main female character "Helen" begins the film a religious woman who is heard talking to a friend about her purity and how it is sacred and how she should come to church with her on sunday. By the end of the film she is literally begging a  satanic doll to fuck her.

"I long for you..."

The journey from saint to sinner is a rather quick one for Helen. She walks into an antique store one day and finds the doll for sale. The shopkeeper tells her about the doll and how it has been purchased four separate times and how it has made its way back to the store each time. First of all, this would be a red flag for me. If someone told me that I was purchasing a possessed doll I would pull a 180 and run away as fast as I could. But...for whatever reason she decides she must purchase the doll. It is easy to say that this is a big hole in the films logic. But, let's look at it from a different perspective. Everything that Helen did that day, led up to her entering that store and finding that doll. 

She never had any other choice. It was destined to be

They were destined to meet. If that is true, then her beliefs about being a good woman and preserving her purity never mattered... as they were only there to eventually be broken. Following this train of thought, it is easy to see how Helen only ever existed to be destroyed. She is the victim of a cosmic prank played on her by the forces of evil. In this scenario, Evil forces are the prankster, she is the victim, and the doll is the Whoopee cushion. I don't see this movie as being about the doll, as much as I see it being about the presence of evil and its ability to bend the will of the unsuspecting. The doll itself does not matter. It is just the on screen representation of evil. It is just the thing that is put there for us to follow the transfer of evil... from Hell, through the doll, into Helen. See what I am saying? The doll doesn't matter. She could have stuck her foot in the wrong fucking shoe and wound up possessed and longing for Satan, instead she bought the wrong doll.

As awesome as it is, this doll doesn't matter in the end...

The real story is about the breaking of the human will. It is about the presence and power of evil in ones life and the depths that ones desires can drive them to. Much like Chester N Turners other film "Tales from the Quadead zone", there is a powerful statement being made. You just have to look really hard and pay really close attention to see it.  It's also completely possible that I am imagining things, and all of this is just nonsense. Maybe Chester Turner really did just make a shitty movie about a doll, but I have a hard time believing that. I think Chester Turner was both a Victim and Champion of low budgets. His films have become sought after by collectors, and fetch hefty prices online. However he never achieved any sort of commercial success. His films are only remembered now for the most part because of how poorly produced or "bad" they are..I find his two films to be genuine works of art. They are the perfect example of "Camera and a dream" film making.  These people really wanted to make a movie, and they did just that. With whatever little bit of resources they had, they produced a film that is still remembered, still has a fanbase, and is somewhat of a legend in the horror community. Not much is known about Chester N Turner. He released two movies... "Black devil doll from hell" released in 1984 and 1989s horror anthology "Tales from the Quadead zone", and has no other credits to his name. His whereabouts are unknown and it is in the air as to whether  he is dead or alive. Some say he passed away back in the mid 1990s sometime, while others say he is alive and well but does not want to be associated with his films any longer. Either way, his two contributions to low budget cinema are greatly appreciated and admired by many. It confounds me as to why there has not been a legitimate release of this film outside of Chester Turners home pressed VHS tapes. It would seem to me that this movie is ripe to be tossed onto the DVD market, yet to date no legitimate release exists...and that is a real fucking bummer.

For the love of Satan.

Satan loves all of his children. Especially the bad ones.

So, If you are here I imagine you have probably heard of "A Serbian film". This movie caused quite a stir when it was released due to its "Graphic depiction of infanticide and rape". If you have not seen "A Serbian film"... the scene in question involves a man having sex with a newborn child, still attached to its mother. It is disturbing, and it will get under your skin.

Meh... Whatevs...

 At the time of its release bloggers and websites everywhere were talking about this film and how it "crossed the line" and "entered new territory for shock cinema". This is not exactly true. It had been done before. One year before "A Serbian Film" popped up and shocked audiences with its depiction of infant rape, Lucifer Valentine released "Slow Torture Puke Chamber", The third and final installment of the Vomit Gore Trilogy. Aside from bringing the story of Angela Aberdeen to a close, it also included a scene that I feel was overlooked in terms of its cinematic significance. Towards the end of the film Hank skinny appears on screen and assists a woman in giving birth, in a wonderfully graphic and disturbing manner of course.)I mean, come on... this is a Lucifer Valentine film...) Here is a screenshot:

It's only going to get worse from here...

Not only does Slow Torture Puke chamber cross the same line that "A Serbian Film" did, it also adds emetophilia, verbal abuse, and as a bonus... a little bit of kick the baby. And it does it all up close, and without cutting away. Those who have seen this film know exactly what I am talking about. The first thing to take note of in this scene is the fact that an obviously fake doll was used. Most viewers would automatically assume this was just a poor choice of special effects. Most viewers don't look deeper than the screen...

That baby belongs to Satan now.

The magic of the scene lies in the fact that an obviously fake doll was used, but you still FEEL the same feelings as if you were actually watching the unthinkable unfold right in front of you. This is where the movie fucks with the viewers head. You know that you should not feel so disturbed by the on screen antics of a blood and puke covered Hank Skinny playing with a gelatin doll. In fact, the sight of it could almost make you laugh... but the context in which it is presented is what fucks you up. It makes for a truly surreal moment. If you ask Lucifer Valentine, he will tell you that the choice of an obviously fake baby was intentional, and that it was meant to illicit a sort of internal conflict within the viewer. Or, as he explained it to me, the doll is:

 "A paradoxical visual manifestation of a slaughtered vomit doll"

I wonder why this film was overlooked when  it was released. There was no sort of outrage. Lucifer Valentine wasn't mentioned on google news. But, he should have been. What I'm saying is that all of the mania and public outrage that "A Serbian film" received should have gone to "Slow torture puke chamber". Lucifer Valentine crossed the line first, he deserves the recognition. A Serbian Film only "worked" because of the outrage and outcry against it.It is actually a pretty boring film, and its only redeeming quality is the quick moment of shock and disgust you feel the first time you see it. Lucifer Valentines film is  very well produced, it lingers in your head for days, and it disturbs you on a level that defies explanation. His films do not rely simply on a brief moment of shock value. It is a shame that he did not receive the mainstream recognition he deserved for his contribution to extreme cinema. However, in my  interactions online with Lucifer Valentine it becomes apparent that he does not care what the mainstreams view on him or his films is. He is content knowing that his fans love his work and will remain loyal. 

By the way, this is not Lucifer Valentine. Stop saying that it is.

 I still can't help but feel a bit of confusion. Audiences flocked to theaters to watch The human centipede, SAW, and A Serbian film because they heard they were shocking films that set out to explore the darker facets of humanity...The bad parts of life...They wanted to see something they do not usually get to see, but still retain a level of comfort. I guess that this is where the mainstream and Lucifer Valentine collide. Lucifer Valentines films provide EXACTLY what the audience seeks to find. They shock, they give you a peek into the "other side" of things, they give you something to think about. But his films strip away the level of comfort. They force you to confront the horrors of not only the real world, but the metaphysical world as well. They evoke genuine responses and reactions from viewers. They are the real deal mind fuck. But most audiences can't handle the real deal and are content watching the next SAW film or bad horror remake, never knowing that there is a deeper kind of horror film to be enjoyed. Something that doesn't insult its audience by asking them to completely suspend any and all disbelief. Disbelief does not exist while watching a Lucifer Valentine film. You know that what you are watching is real. You'll tell yourself it can't be, but it is. And isn't that what a horror audience wants? To be so scared they have to re-assure themselves " ITS ONLY A MOVIE...ITS ONLY A MOVIE". I guess the problem lies in that a Lucifer Valentine film is so much more than "ONLY A MOVIE" It's a full on pillaging of all your senses, sensibilities, and emotions that will leave you feeling it for days. It seems that most audiences do not want to feel, they only want to watch. And that is a fucking shame.

A Shameless plug...

I've got some pretty nifty stuff listed on amazon.com right now including some pretty rare VHS tapes for sale. Click HERE to check it out.

...and I'll give you some movies

Last house on dead end street on SUN VIDEO...

This image is enough to make any VHS collector shit in his pants.

When the shit hits the fan....

Waterpower...one of the most notorious films to emerge from 1970s new york. Waterpower concerns a man who becomes fixated with enemas after a trip to a 42nd street brothel.  Burt and his new found fetish quickly turns into Burt and his big bag of enema supplies... prowling New york after dark looking for "Bitches", "sluts", and "Pigs" to forcefully administer enemas to. Burt somehow gets it in his head that he is helping to spiritually cleanse the women he forces the enemas on. Oh yeah, did I mention he also rapes them just before he gives them the enemas? The film never formally tells us that Burt is insane. He seems troubled, however this is never directly addressed. This lack of reason makes his actions all the more bizarre. 

Waterpower was produced as a Porn film in 1977. Director Shaun Costello was well known for his previous endeavors in the Adult film industry when he was contacted by members of the Gambino crime family. He was told that he was needed to direct another porn film, and that it needed to be an "enema movie". The final product ended up being more of a horror film than porn film. It is hard to imagine anyone ever going to see Waterpower with the intent of jerking off. There are moments in this movie that were undoubtedly genuine...namely a scene where a stewardess is given an enema in her apartment bathroom. The character screams and pleads for Burt to remove the enema nozzle from her ass. Burt moves it in further and it becomes apparent that the ACTRESS is now telling Burt to "take this thing outta me right now". The scene quickly changes direction and our enema obsessed hero can be heard saying " well, maybe that will be enough", an obviously impromptu line. He then has her sit on a toilet and expel some of her enema before having her do so in her bathtub. It is in these moments the film becomes its darkest. At another point in the film an actress can be heard saying " oh my god, there is shit everywhere. I can't believe I am doing this",  completely out of character. That few seconds, is the very definition of Exploitation Cinema, in my opinion. And yes...there really was shit everywhere.

There is a brutal sense of authenticity throughout Waterpower. Jamie Gillis' portrayal of an Enema Rapist is dark, deep, and very disturbing. The shining moment for me came during a scene where he states " maybe this will work for you, then I won't have to come kill you. Maybe we can even be friends"... just after raping, but just before forcing an enema into a defeated, terrified woman on a bathroom floor. Jamie gillis would go on to star in over 400 adult films before dying in 2010. Today he is regarded as a legend within the porn industry and has a cult following outside of the porn industry, mainly due to this film.

Waterpower is not a film for everyone. It's not even a film for every fan of extreme films. This is a movie that not a lot of people are going to enjoy watching. And it shouldn't be... like I said, this film is a gritty, nasty film. It exists only to disgust and shock its audience, and it succeeds. The major problem with this movie is actually getting your hands on a copy. Even if you do find a copy, you can't really know which version you are getting. There is a heavily edited version available on DVD which should be avoided. There is also a DVD circulating that contains a 85 minute cut of the movie. People often refer to this as the directors cut, however the true directors cut runs 74 minutes. When Shaun Costello handed over the final film it ran 74 minutes. Along with the film, he also handed over all of the cut scenes.Most notable are the scenes where Burt receives oral sex at gunpoint. Shaun Costello has stated that he feels that the addition of these cut scenes causes the movie to drag, and lose impact. If you are going to watch this movie, watch the 74 minute version. 

Waterpower is a legendary piece of sleaze unlike no other. It disgusts just about everyone who watches it, and if someone saw it on your shelves they would think you are a fucking sicko. But, you can't really call yourself an extreme cinema fan without watching this one at least once. So, if you are ready to give it a go, click the link down below. It's the 74 minute directors cut, the way it was meant to be seen. Just be warned...everything in this movie is real.

 Do not click the link below if you are under 18 or sensitive to graphic sexual images.

Click here to watch WATERPOWER online. Totally NSFW!!!

What the fuck is the deal with all this defective DVD shit?

How many times has this shit happened to you?...

You purchase a new DVD. On the drive home you are practically bouncing in your seat thinking about watching your new movie. You get home, take a shower, then get comfy. You are sucked into the movie. Nothing else exists. You are fully submerged in whatever you are watching.Then, it happens...A skip. But not just a skip, a full on fucking stall. At first you think it might just be a delay caused from layer transfer, or maybe a thumbprint or plastic shaving on the disc. You get up, completely fucking bummed out and head over to your player. "Hmmm... the disc looks fine" you think. Maybe it was some random occurrence. You put the disc back in and give it another go, only to have your brand new movie stop on the same 36:28 mark. Or, you flip it over and your brand new disc looks like it was tossed in a blender.

 What the fuck is the deal with all this defective DVD shit?

Seriously... I can only believe that DVD manufacturers no longer have quality control departments. Or if they do, they must staff them with retarded gorillas who are force-fed a steady stream of trucker speed and hard liquor. And apparently, the only way to put the discs into their cases is by hurling them against a wall made of forks. Once the discs land near their cases, a very ungraceful fellow must come along to pound the discs onto their holders using an old hammer.

Example A:

If you want to know what a rape victim feels, buy this!

 Like a lot of you, I was Uber-excited when i heard about this set. The packaging looks awesome and has absolute shelf appeal. Plus it came with two pairs of 3D glasses and a sweet ass hockey mask. Not to mention, the awesome sounding book-style holder for the discs. The day came that I got my hands on my copy of "Friday the 13th The Ultimate Collection". Aside from all of the extra bullshit that came along with this set including the shitty replica mask, the flimsy packaging that arrives broken, and the lack of any new bonus features a alot of us were also treated to 8 highly damaged discs. Some purchasers only had fingerprints or light scuffing on their discs. Others, myself included had discs that were deeply scratched, cracked, or in some cases glued to the book style holder with hot glue. It got so bad in fact that amazon.com stopped orders on it while they were figuring out if they would allow sales of it on the site. I cannot begin to fathom how such a huge fail could have come from such a large manufacturer of entertainment media. I personally believe, it is because manufacturers have cut costs in the way of quality control. They also hide behind the convenient policy of " no returns or exchanges once its been opened" that most stores employ nowadays. I understand the need for a policy on returns on a product that can easily be duplicated. It is obvious to see the potential for piracy there, but what about those who purchase a disc that is  completely unwatchable. Then, when we try to return the defective product we are stuck with it because it is sold out due to it being a "limited edition the store only received 3 of."
Once the store shoots you down, that is the end of the road. It is practically impossible to contact a large manufacturer such as Paramount pictures to tell them " Hey assholes, your shitty practices resulted in another shitty product. I need it replaced."  Even if you do manage to get someone on the line, you are simply told to return it to the store.It is a constant stream of one party passing the blame on to another. In the end, the consumer gets the screw.

A typical method employed by DVD manufacturers to ensure the discs arrive as damaged as possible.

What about when a company releases a DVD that is supposed to be uncut, or fully restored, etc.. AND ITS NOT???!! As shitty as this sounds, it happens. The last time it happened to me I just about blew a socket. Redneck Zombies...one of my favorite films was released a few years ago on TROMAs "TROMASTERPIECE collection" DVD. It claimed it was the same directors cut as the previous release, only this time the film had been color corrected and restored " to its full gory-glory". They failed to mention the following:

several seconds were removed throughout the film

the original intro card was completely removed and replaced with an obviously new, computer generated intro card


The "mutation" sequence effects were not enhanced, rather they were  washed over by new, poorly constructed computer effects.


Several bits of dialogue and background noise would be removed.


When you purchase this DVD, you are going to feel as though someone has kicked you in the guts and snatched your wallet.And the manufacturer will still get to keep the money you spent on a product you were mislead into buying.

So what then? Are we to not purchase DVDs until manufacturers decide to commit to a certain level of quality in return for our patronage? Or do we simply continue paying for defective, shitty releases and pretend we are happy? I think paramount should have been held accountable for their fuck up. It seems to me that the point is often lost... IT IS THEIR FAULT! I didn't produce a shitty disc. You did not mislead yourself into buying a sub-par product. THEY mislead you, THEY released shitty products, and THEY should be held accountable for it.

He's only 16, but he remembers the 1980s home video explosion...

 I Scored a really nifty copy of Drive-in massacre on "cult video" from amazon for about 7 dollars including shipping. Depending on who you talk to,  it is worth anywhere between ten and thirty dollars.I know of a guy who purchased a copy of 555 on VHS from amazon a few years ago for about 10 dollars.  He resold his copy on ebay last year for close to 200 dollars. For those who do not know, 555 is a Shot on video film from 1988 about a serial killer murdering couples he finds fooling around after dark. 555 is not an amazing movie by traditional standards, however fans of Shot on Video horror regularly shell out upwards of 125.00 for a genuine copy.In 2011 555 saw its second release since 1988 when massacre video released it on limited edition VHS, DVD, and limited edition DVD with extras.The limited edition VHS and DVD sets sold out almost immediately with copies showing up on amazon and ebay within days of the films release.Even today several copies sit on amazon for over 100.00 a piece.I am proud to own a copy of massacre videos 555 VHS release, however I have to wonder why it commands such a high price tag. The obvious answer for the price is supply and demand. I guess I wonder... why such demand? Is it because people actually enjoy this film, or is it just the "cool film to have at that time". I wonder how many of the people who are shelling out 150.00 for a copy of 555 have actually seen it. Or for that matter, how many had ever even heard of it before it became a cool movie to like.Now,I'm not saying that in order to buy a movie like 555 you need to remember renting it when it first came out or anything like that. Just be real about it. If you are only buying rare VHS tapes because it's the cool thing to do or whatever, just come out and present it as such. I see a lot of young kids getting into collecting VHS or Beta. They hop on youtube and talk about how they "remember the good ol' days of mom and pop video stores"  or how they have "been tracking this tape down since i was a kid". First of all, if you are graduating high school this year...you were not even alive in the "good ol' days" of mom and pop video stores, not to mention your first movie was probably watched on DVD. Secondly, you could not have been tracking it down that long, seeing as how you are still a child.Again, I say...there is nothing wrong with being young and enjoying old horror movies, What I AM saying is stop trying to pretend your fondness for Thriller Home Video headers or Cannon movie covers is spawned from nostalgia or remembrance "of times long gone". You're not old enough to remember those days, and you are starting to look silly.

The motherfucking Vomit Gore box set is here!

Unearthed Films And Lucifer Valentine have released The Vomit Gore Trilogy box set. Aside from the 3 films in the trilogy, the set also includes a 4th disc featuring Lucifer valentines new short film " A perfect child of Satan". There is also some awesome supplemental material on the 4th disc as well. All of this comes packaged in a 4 disc digi-pak. This review is going to focus on the set itself, not so much the films. Overall, this set is a winner. The first 3 discs are the same discs as released previously by unearthed films and all of the films look and sound great.Since there are plenty of reviews online for the previous releases, I'm going to focus on the fourth disc and the packaging of the set.If you already own the previous releases, you should still consider picking this up for the 4th disc. "A perfect child of Satan" very well may be Lucifer Valentines best work yet. This 25 minute film builds you up, only to blow you to bits emotionally. I promise you,the last 3 minutes or so of " A perfect child of Satan" will completely fuck you up. All of the supplemental material for the film is fucking incredible. I don't want to give anything away, but the filming conditions of "a perfect child of satan" are fucking mindblowing. Knowing how it was filmed adds a new level of intensity and realism to the film. Those of you who have watched them know what I am talking about. When you get the set do this:

1) Watch A perfect child of Satan
2) Watch the making of featurette
3) Re-watch A perfect child of Satan

I promise you, it will hit harder.

The set comes packaged in a nice Digi-pak box. It is a dual Gatefold 4 disc holder (the same used for the Simpsons DVD sets).
It features brand new artwork from Lucifer Valentine. I feel that the choice on imagery and the color scheme for the box was absolutely perfect. As a collector, I know the significance of "shelf appeal". This set looks beautiful on the shelf. The bright pink box stands out amongst the other spines on the shelf. My only issue with the set itself was the lack of an outer slipcover. Most sets of this type include an outer slipcase and although it isn't a huge deal, a slipcase would have been a nice addition. I don't know about the rest of you, but I would toss an extra five or ten bucks at unearthed for a slipcase if one was made available for purchase.(wink wink)

When you get your set, be careful removing your discs. These type of cases tend to "grip" the discs the first few times you remove them and if you are not careful...shit happens. I would recommend carefully removing the 4 discs, then taking a blank CD and breaking in the disc holders by repeatedly snapping the disc onto the holder and removing it.Do this a few times and you will notice a decrease in the amount of resistance when removing the discs. 

Unearthed films and Lucifer Valentine did a great job on this set. Those of you who have not yet experienced a viewing of these films can pick up the full trilogy in one convenient purchase and save yourself the trouble of trying to track down the individual films.Aside from saving time, you also get the bonus disc... all in one fucking awesome package. Those of you who already own the previous releases should still pick this set up while you have a chance. This will be your only chance to own "A perfect child of Satan" and you can't say you have a complete collection, unless you have a complete collection... ya dig? Visit Unearthed Films  to order yours while you still can.

"...You Wooden headed bastard."

Black Devil Doll From Hell... Chester N. Turners masterpiece. As easy as it is to laugh at the films shitty special effects, there really is a genuinely disturbing subplot where the main woman has her soul bent to the will of Satan. You just really have to pay attention to pick up on it.

This cover is very misleading...

But a good film nonetheless. And a perfect example of the type of advertising used to sell a less than stellar film. VHS distributors in the 80's released films in larger than normal boxes, most of the time covered in lurid artwork. This cover always stuck with me.